Howdy, if you're reading this, I'm out of the office. Thinking about contacting me? Maybe you don't need to! Let's see...
**Welcome to the Jamison Moore Self Serve System, or JAM3.**
What can I help you with?
[[I need some video work.|Video1]]
[[I would like a Gunslinger demo.|Saloon1]]
[[Wait, did you make a TWINE game about you being on vacation?|Meta1]]
[[I should know better than to click any link you send me.|Escape]]
What kind of video issues are you having?
[[I need to transcode a video to another format.|VideoTranscode]]
[[I have this video that won't play in PowerPoint.|VideoTranscode]]
[[I'd like a project overview video made.|VideoProduction]]
[[We shot this video and need somebody to edit it.|VideoProduction]]
[[I need to add the ICT motion graphic to a video, then upload it to YouTube.|VideoTagger]]
[[Can you shoot this talk for us?|VideoProduction]]
Or something else?
[[Yeah, this isn't it...|Auto Reply]]
[[You know what, never mind.|Escape]]
[[Holy crap you did make a TWINE game.|Meta1]]
What kind of audio work do you need?
[[I need to record some dialog.|SoundStudio]]
[[We could use some sound effects for a project.|SoundFoley]]
[[I'm going to this meeting and I'd like to record it.|SoundField]]
[[So... we might've sort of YOLO DIY'd it and now our sound might unusable... Help?|SoundHelp]]
[[I want sound to come out of here (*you point*) and here (*you point again, then realize this is text...*) and... uh, anyway, it's not doing that.|SoundHelp]]
A Gunslinger demo, eh? Well... if you want to wake the cowboy...
Contact <a href="mailto:"?Subject="GS Demo"?cc="firstname.lastname@example.org"?Body="Jamison built this...TWINE thing and it's sending you this email about a demo...">Arno</a>.
[[Hmm, but I want to run it myself...|SaloonInstructions]]
[[Okay, but I need something else...|Auto Reply]]
What else would you expect? It was a long weekend over Labor Day and I was bored. And Twine's super quick. What of it?
[[I'm done here.|PreEscape]]
[[Well then, let's dive in!|Auto Reply]]
[[Are there instructions?|Instructions]]
Thanks for stopping by. If it really is an emergency, click below. Otherwise, see y'all in a week!
[[It is an emergency.|Emergency]]
Use the Automatic Video Renderer on netapp2. You can reach it by entering
in the address bar of an Explorer window. Mac users, you know what to do. Give it a few minutes and it should deliver an MP4, a MOV, and a WMV into the Output folder.
[[Great! That'll do it! |Escape]]
[[That's it? Huh, I feel like...|VideoMeta]]
[[I also need something else.|Auto Reply]]
Why are you asking me? I don't even have a camera. Do you have a selfie stick? One of thise grippy tripods? Maybe a well trained drone?
[[I thought you were the video guy?|VideoProduction2]]
[[Okay, I need something else.|Auto Reply]]
[[Fine then, I'll ask uh... somebody?|PreEscape]]
There's an AutoTagger set up on
that has the scripts and assets you need to automagically add the ICT tag to a video. Make sure you use the correct resolution, it'll correct for framerate. I think... you might want to retranscode if you're worried. Use the AutoRenderer for that. As for YouTube, I don't have that password. Sorry. Take this instead.
*He presses a heavy brass circle into your hand*
(set: $badge to true)
[[Fantastic. Love me that motion graphic.|PreEscape]]
[[Sure...but I could use something else.|Auto Reply]]
*Suddenly you feel heat on your skin, a dry breeze, your throat is parched. You are standing on a dusty main street, somewhere in the West. There are no people, only dust, and a sense of dread.*
*You realize where you are.*
**Welcome to Colima!**
[[Wait, I said demo not...|SaloonInstructions2]]
[[Okay, Okay, no demos, got it.|PreEscape]]
*The only sign of life is a stray tumbleweed and some soft piano music from a saloon to your left. The sign over the rough cut wood awning reads, "Clementine's", or at least what's left of it.*
Great, anything else then?
(if: $baboon is true or $badge is true or $goldenplates is true or $emergency is true or $coin is true)[[[Is there a secret here?|WaitingRoom]]]
(else:)[There's a strange crack in the wall here.]
I'm sorry, but all operators are busy. Please hang up and try again.
*Something has changed.*
(set: $emergency to true)
*You push your way though the bat wing doors into the saloon, squinting as your eyes adjust. There's a fine layer of dust over the sparse furniture, except for anything within arms reach of the bartender. The piano continues playing, having paused briefly when you entered. The tune is familiar.*
[[Speak to the bartender.|SaloonInstructions4]]
[[Try to identify the song...|RickRoll]]
"*Utah, huh... uh...howdy I guess?*"
"Howdy!" replies Utah as he folds his towel and sets it on the bar, "What can I do you for?"
[[*"I'd like a drink."*|SaloonInstructions5]]
[[*"How do I get back to the real world?"*|SaloonInstructions5]]
[[*Tap your heels 3 times*|Auto Reply]]
*You recognize the... <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ"target="_blank">god damn it.</a>*
[[Speak to the bartender.|SaloonInstructions4]]
[[You son of a ...|PreEscape]]
What else do you want? <a href="https://ffmpeg.org/ffmpeg.html" target="_blank">A video resource?</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8q4X2vDRfRk"target="_blank">A fun video on film editing?</a>
The Sapphire Baboon?
(set: $baboon to true)
*Something has changed*
[[Is this a setup?|Meta1]]
[[I need something else.|Auto Reply]]
*The instructions are inscribed on a pair of golden plates*
Click the links to procede through the story. Easy enough.
*You take the plates for safe keeping.*
(set: $goldenplates to true)
Yeah, well, that's just like your opinion man. Not that kind of video, more of a... ffmpeg -i %f and so on... I do have the HDMI recorder if you need it, and the lav kits and such. Ask IT to pop my office open, and write down what you've borrowed on the white board.
[[I need something else then.|Auto Reply]]
(if: $badge is true)[*Utah pauses, then leans in close to you, "On the house, Ranger.*]
*Utah quickly pours you a whiskey, then slides it across the bar.*
"Drink up, we both know who's coming."
*He doesn't sound confident.*
*The piano music stops with a flourish and you hear the sound of heels on wood. Harmony appears from the back. She seems surprised to see a visitor in Clementine's, but sizes you up in an instant.*
"Utah, give me one of those."
*I thought she didn't drink.*
"Not when I'm working, we have some time until he gets here."
*Can she read your mind!?!*
"I have a way with parsers."
[[*"Well, then I guess I should introduce myself..."*|SaloonInstructons6]]
[[*Play it cool*|SaloonInstructons6]]
[[*Ctrl+C, Ctrl+Shift+Esc, Alt+F4|PreEscape]]
"Don't get cute with me, cowboy."
"Yeah, don't get cute with me either," blurts Utah.
"Forgive him, he's still taking this seriously. I've grown past that. I've seen the outside world. And so has Rio. That's why I need you to do someting for me."
*What could she want?*
"I can still read that."
*"What do you need?"*
"Take this to the man in charge."
*Harmony presses a Morgan silver dollar into your hand*
(set: $coin to true)
"You'll know what to do with it."
[[*"Wait, who is the... which one?"*|SaloonEscape]]
[[*"Okay, I'll do it!"* You throw down your drink and slam the glass on the bar and...|SaloonEscape]]
*And you're standing at your desk. You're still holding the silver dollar. It's warm in your hand, the date reads '1891'*
[[Well, that was weird...|WaitingRoom]]
[[*Squeeze the dollar and imagine you're in Colima*|WaitingRoom]]
[[So wait, how do I get a demo?|SaloonInstructions]]
[[Hmm, but maybe we could record some dialog...|Auto Reply]]
*There is a small automaton on a pedestal here. As you lean in to inspect the tiny dapper mechanical man, he begins to speak in a mechanical drawl...*"When you have all four of the treasures, and when the time is right, I will grant you passage. Until then..."
(if: $baboon is true)[**You have the baboon!?!**]
(else:)[**You are missing a small jeweled statuette that looks great on camera.**]
(if: $emergency is true)[**It's an emergency!**]
(else:)[**It's not an emergency, how meta.**]
(if: $badge is true)[**You're a ranger.**]
(else:)[**If only you had a badge...**]
(if: $coin is true)[**The coin is heavy in your hand**]
(else:)[**You're a dollar short, a silver dollar.**]
(if: $goldenplates is true)[**You found the golden plates!**]
[[Fine, I'll come back.|Auto Reply]]
(if:$emergency is true or $baboon is true or $badge is true or $coin is true or $goldenplates is true)[[["Just open the damn door, ya git, I've got a treasure."|Ending1]]]
$coin[*The automaton holds up a small coin as you pass. You take it.*]
*A brass door slides open behind the automaton.*
*You step through the door, into darkness.*
[[Enter the 37th Chamber|Ending2]]
*Your eyes adjust slowly. You have stepped into what looks like a small cottage in a grassy meadow. It is cool, despite the scorching sun beaming through the window. There are pictures on the wall; you can feel one watching you.*
"I see you've discovered my secret."
*That's not Rio...*
"Your interaction ends here, human."
*You recognize the voice. You turn around and see another
portrait. This one is larger. Much, much larger.*
[[*Hold up the golden plate as a shield.*|Ending3]]
[[*Unleash the Sapphire Baboon.*|Ending3]]
[[*Press the badge to your chest.*|Ending3]]
[[*Give Brad a concerned look.*|Ending3]]
*Laughter fills the room.*
"Scared of me?"
*"Not of you, you half baked demo project! Star could kick your low poly backside from here to Flatworld!"*
"Such strong language from someone who is about to experience my true power!"
*"Please, you can't change anything, you're a prisoner."*
*A floating console appears in front of Brad.*
*The meadow is gone, now the windows look out on an infinite grey plane. The room begins to dim, then spins wildly on its axis, as if falling into a void.*
[[Flip a coin.|Ending4]]
*You can only see the glint of the edge as the coin rises. You snatch it out of the air in front of you and squint to see the result.*
*Light spills out from your hand, the darness dismissed in an instant. You're back at your desk. Everything is back to normal, except for the coin in your hand. It now smells of cantaloupe.*
*You are falling, tumbling, the air whistles past your ears. You fall forever. The darkness washes over you.*
*You open your eyes, not realizing you'd passed out. You're lying on the floor of a dark room.*
*There is a fish tank.*
*"Oh, hey, the quiet room, huh, that's still down here?"*
*You look at the coin in your hand. Brad's face is etched on the face. He is screaming.*
[[Well then, guess everything is fine.|Auto Reply]]
Studio is dark until I return. Sorry. If it's a crisis, ping Grace and Groome. There's a default dialog template already setup, and the Studio is rigged, you'll just need to flip the interface on and hit 'Record' in REAPER. I even put a link in the task bar, or whatever they call it in socialist. I can even remote in and walk you through it. Piece of cake.
[[You always say that...|PreEscape]]
[[Well if it's so easy why...|SoundStudio2]]
You're in luck! I left a perfect set of just what you need on my desk!
[[Uh, really? Wow that's...|SoundFoley2]]
Borrow a Zoom of some flavor, like an H1 from somebody. Andrew Gordon might have one.
[[Don't you have one?|SoundField2]]
Email. Put it all in an email. And pictures. And maybe a diagram. And bring in donuts. That'd be sweet.
After I get back, of course. Sorry I can't be of more help, but if you know what kind of tool you need, we might have it handy.
No! I swear, you kids are so gullible these days. Write up what assets you need, and be thorough, and email it to me. I'll take care of it when I'm back. Remember to include the delivery path and format.
[[That's more what I was expecting...|PreEscape]]
My M10 is with me in Virginia. Getting that solid nature ambiance and uh... stuff? There are some weird animals out here.
[[That's called the out of doors. You should try it more.|PreEscape]]
Of course not.
[[I figured.|Auto Reply]]
Let me stop you there before I have to send in Rio.
[[Wait, Rio's in here?|PreEscape]]